This week, I was fortunate enough to attend Tony Robbins’ Power of Success Seminar. From awkward dancing and hugging with a room full of strangers to insightful knowledge in the key areas of life, Tony was an energizing force to be reckoned with.
This is a man whose morning routine consists of submerging himself in freezing cold water (57 degree fahrenheit) in a one person cold plunge pool . Why? To wake up his body as well as jumpstart those endorphins (true story).
If you ever want to get out of your comfort zone and learn from a true life expert who’s done and seen it all, Tony Robbins is your guy.
Within the 3 hour span he was on stage, I channeled my inner Lois Lane and made it a point to jot down the most crucial nuggets of knowledge he shared. I also recorded it (just because I’m obsessed with retaining information).
Lo and behold, here are the most insightful pieces of advice I’ve learned from Tony in the key areas of life:
Change your expectation to appreciation
- A relationship should be effortless and not effortful. If you find yourself having to become somebody you’re not in order to please somebody that can’t be pleased, you’re in the wrong relationship. GTFO.
- Expectations (and selfishness) will ruin relationships. Focus on what you can give, not on what you can get.
- It initially starts as giving then shifts to getting. The minute you start focusing on the latter, your relationship becomes a transaction.
- What makes a relationship work is having things in common. What makes a relationship passionate is having things that are different.
- Example : If you have different hobbies and different energies (masculine/feminine), they’ll be sparks. Different values/visions= no go
- When it comes to problems, people with masculine energy, find a way to kill them,feminine energy use problems as a way to connect. Instead of getting mad at the other person for using a different method, embrace it. Their polarity is what creates that “spark” in the relationship.
- Women are able to remember a lot because they process information with both sides of the brain (logical/emotional) and as a result emotions are tied in with memories. Secondly, they have more data storage than men.
- Our levels of energy affect EVERYTHING, including your relationship. If you’re in a lousy state, chances are you’re going to treat your S/O like shit. Train yourself to have a higher level energy. It’s all in the state of mind.
Where focus goes, energy flows. Focus is power, gives you energy.
- High energy doesn’t come from sleep or food (aka food coma from eating). It comes from a decision to be in that state.
- All your resources are maximized when you have high energy levels. You don’t need to be an energy bunny, you just need to exude charisma and enthusiasm.
- You can generate energy in an instant. All you need to do is think about something that makes you feel energized.
- Example : Think of 3 moments in your life you felt gratitude, love.
- You need energy with a strategy. If you keep doing the same thing and failing, you need a different game plan.
- Energy is the most important resource of all to push yourself outside your comfort zone. One word can change an energy in the room.
- Example : saying the word nutritious vs delicious : sparks a different reaction. Latter : more exciting
Two master skills of life : Science of Achievement and Art of Fulfilment
Science of Achievement
Intelligence is a potential, fitness is a state of readiness.
- ability to take whatever you dream about, the invisible thought /desire making it into reality
- Achievement : stems from obsession. Hunger for it.
- Focus on what you want, not on what you’re afraid of.
- Look back at your goals/dreams you’ve achieved from the past and model them.
Success leaves clues
- Sow the same seeds as someone who’s successful, you’ll reap the same awards. If you model them, you’ll achieve your goals faster.
- Find something you desire, unleashes you.
- RAS– part of brain that decides what you notice/pay attention to.
Massive action is the cure all
Don’t know where to start?
- Throw the rock. Where the rocks drops, that’s where you start. Get out of your head. Better to take wrong action and learn from it than no action. Need to keep changing.
- Execution trumps knowledge . Keep trying again if it doesn’t work. Need effective execution. Don’t trial and error, model someone that has what you want.
When life is happening for you, not to you. It’s a connection to the divine, it’s more than you
- Example– Tony Robbins high school teacher is the one who shed light on him being a “communicator” and not a “speaker.” Opened the doors for him to compete at regional finals for persuasive speaking where he won first place.
Art of Fulfillment
- Unique to every person. You achieve more, have more energy and adopt skills from it. Reflection of who you are.
- It’s what excites you most. Example : expensive painting, cooking, helping people. If you don’t know what it is..
Decide, explore, live it, experience it, and you’ll have a greater life
- Two key principles of fulfilment : Growth/Progress and Giving
- Progress makes us feel alive and happy. We need to constantly have goals in order to grow
- The purpose of a relationship is to magnify our good emotions. By constantly giving, we feel better about ourselves
- Robin Williams- Overachiever, completed his goal, had his own show, did comedy, won academy award. planet of people loved him . He made everybody happy except himself.
Personal Development :
Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.
- Achieving a goal and asking yourself : “Is this all there is?” is worse than failure. With failure, you can try something else. Without fulfillment in life, you can’t live a happy life.
- Focus on what you want, not on what you’re afraid of.
- Uncertainty will never end but it doesn’t have to control you.
- That brain’s primary job is to make you survive, so it’s always looking for things to protect you from (even if it’s trivial) . It’s a 2 million year old brain (behind in times) and is on “survival” mode trying to be protective.
- When we have an experience and react to it (muscle contracts). We keep it that way, once it’s safe, we never let it go again and live in fear. As a result, it limits what we can experience in our life.
- Freud solution: If you can go back before the moment, it can heal the moment that was holding you. You forgotten something that could make you let go. Exercise.
- Your brain responds to fear/stress through Fight, Flight or Freeze. If you recognize your state, you can trigger it with a different emotion and interrupt it. Run the show and not let it control you.
- When you’re tired or don’t feel like doing something, don’t let the brain/body negotiate, just do it. Tell your brain what to do, you’ll win.
- We all have “patterns” that we think are exclusive to “us” (example- stress, anxiety, depression), but they aren’t. We need to recognize them to trigger a different response.
- If you believe your most stressful thoughts, you need to tap into the opposite emotion to change your state .
- Example : gratitude, courage believing and thinking a certain thought can make us feeling euphoric or sad.
Courage is being afraid but doing it anyway
- We live in a culture where blaming others for our own wrong doing is socially acceptable. (this goes back to the case of the Menedez brothers). This stems from a place of fear and vulnerability.
- 5 minutes of anger suppresses your immune system by 4 hours (takeaway : don’t sweat the small stuff 😉
- Our ultimate resource is mastering human emotions. Convincing and influencing others.
- Number one skill to have is leadership
- In order to influence other people (including yourself), you need to understand what already influences them. If you can already influence people that are like yourself, you’re not an influencer.
- We all have triggers, we just need to figure out ones that aren’t our own. (POV)
- Two most powerful triggers that influence everyone in every moment of their life their mental/ emotional state and their blueprint
- Number 1 thing that influences what people do : Their mental/emotional state that they’re currently in.
- The ability to change their emotional state is the most important and can be changed in seconds (Example- frustrated and sad to happy/laughter).
- Second : Long Term influence is the Blueprint – Set of values, beliefs, rules how people should be/ interact/ set expectations.
Emotion is based on motion. The way you move determines how you feel.
- If you change your body language : you can change your emotions / Mind can go in circles, the body will move when you move it.
- Faking it till you make it isn’t going to change your state. People have bullshit meters and can sense when someone is bullshitting.
- People gravitate toward positive people. They make you feel good. On the contrary, you don’t want to be around negative people because they’re a liability to your happiness.
- Can’t talk yourself into changing your state.
- When you talk to people like it’s a waste of your time . You’ll notice how you talk slower, more quietly. Sound lethargic, less enthusiastic and you’ll start to feel that way too.
How to change your state :
Where focus goes, energy flows
- Change your physiology : the way you use your physical body changes the way you feel.
- Example: way you speak, tone of voice, breathing pattern, facial expressions, movements = can change these all in an instant
- Mind will tell you you’re too tired, can change in an instant when something happens in an instant
- Change your Focus – Whatever you focus on, you feel. Example– if you focus on something that fails or if a person doesn’t like you, you get crazy with worry about things that never even happen.
- Your brain is always on the defence to protect yourself. When it’s in this state, your intelligence is diminished. You need to play on the offence and take risks, need to take control of your mind.
- Change your state by focusing not on what you’re afraid of, but on what you want or a positive memory (victory, love etc)
- Able to change other people by your physiology (body language) and emotional state – Can either suck the energy out of the building with your lousy state or your presence can uplift and make others happy.
- Change other people’s state by your own
- Conveyed through body language- facial expressions are different when you’re trying to influence someone in a passionate/ non chalant state. react/triggers are different.
To live an extraordinary life, means living a life on your terms
Ask yourself : what would it look like for you today? what’s prevented you from making it happen? what’s one of your most stressful thoughts to date?
We have 2 master skills of life :
Science of Achievement : Taking your dreams, ideas and turning them into reality
Art of Fulfillment : Considered an “art” since everyone has their own type of fulfillment, varies.
Life is the dance between what you desire most and fear most
- We need to stop making excuses and blaming others for why things aren’t the way we want them to be. We always rationalize our excuses because of our fear.
- Stop letting your failures define you. It’s a negative experience not just for yourself but for others .
- Two of the biggest fears we have is:
- A) we’re not enough (smart, good looking, rich, funny)
- B) fear of failure
- Our lack of resourcefulness is the problem , NOT our lack of resources (example- education, money, etc). Most successful people found a way around it.
- Look at people who transformed their business and they’ll show you how to succeed.
Store failure as learning
- Example : Walmart initially lacked resources (money) and was incomparable to K-mart which was 3 times bigger. Yet the CEO had a capacity to produce resourcefulness in employees. Now they’re making over 3 billion a year while K-Mart is bankrupt.
- Creating an irresistible offer can change your business but you need to know your customers better than they know themselves. If you understand their desires and fears, you can change it all.
- Example : Zappos- Didn’t have customers as a resource so created a desirable offer. Knew their audience well, so it worked.
- If you fail it’s NOT because you don’t have resources, it’s because you’re believing your most stressful thoughts which are making you non resourceful.
Limitation is in the mind, find the freedom you deserve
Have you recently attended a Tony Robbins seminar? Do you plan on attending one in the near future? Share your comments below!